looking back

I was inspired by Heather's post on Monday. Three years ago this month change was stirring in my heart and would soon be working it's way into my life. On April 6, 2008 I posted a blog on my LJ that included an excerpt from Donald Miller's book Through Painted Deserts. This is what it said:

"It's a living book, this life; it folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters, and it is almost over for you. It doesn't matter how old you are; it is coming to a close quickly, and soon the credits will roll and all your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold and still and silence. And they will make a fire and pour some wine and think about how you once were....and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.

So soon you will be in that part of the book where you are holding the bulk of the pages in your left hand, and only a thin wisp of the story in your right. You will know by the page count, not by the narrative, that the Author is wrapping things up. You begin to mourn its ending, and want to pace yourself slowly toward its closure, knowing the last lines will speak of something beautiful, of the end of something long and earned, and you hope the thing closes out like last breaths, like whispers about how much and who the characters have come to love, and how authentic the sentiments feel when they have earned a hundred pages of qualification.

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

Little did I know that about a week after that Heather would find out her internship placement and Jenny and I would decide to move to California with her. Actually, I announced it officially on my LJ 3 years ago TODAY. My life changed so much when I moved to California and it's changed so much since then. Here are a couple pictures from April 2008.

Easter weekend fun with the girls.

Making dinner with Valerie for our friends. The night Heather called me with her placement.

Hike with Megan and Aimee at the end of April 2008.

seattle dreams

I don't know what's gotten into me, but in the last week I've started to dream (literally and figuratively) about moving back to Seattle. I've peeked at apartments on Craigslist and thought of where I'd like to live in Seattle if/when I move back. Ideally, I'd transfer with Bella Baby to their hospitals up there so I'd like to be close to work and/or public transportation, and of course, close to friends. I know I still have a long way to go, especially financially, before I can move, but it's still fun to dream and look ahead to the future.

I think it'd be amazing to find a place big enough for at least three (Heather, Jenny and myself), plus the cats, and potentially have a little den for a little work studio area for all of us. I'm obviously still in the dream-stage. Here are a couple pictures I found as apartment inspiration. Right now I have absolutely NO furniture. I think it's going to be lots of fun to furnish a place with the girls.

source

Do you have any moving suggestions? Last time Heather and I used ABF U-Pack and got a pod. It was nice to not have to worry about dealing with a big moving truck.

Any suggestions on apartment hunting? I'm pretty sure each time I've moved I've used Craigslist for searching. What do you think are the best places to live in Seattle? Queen Anne? Downtown? Capital Hill? West Seattle? Ballard? Apartment? House?

Best places for furniture: couches, dining sets, bedroom sets, etc.?

Moving is a big decision and I'd love to hear your feedback and suggestions.

BIG NEWS!

As most everyone knows, at the end of May after a two-year struggle with SPU I finally received my bachelor’s degree. A week later I got into grad school and was “let go” from my job. Since then I’ve finished one semester of school and began another. I was blessed with California Unemployment, but have been struggling to find a job. My month off from school in August was a nice break but I felt so lost, with no direction. It’s been nice since school has started and I have something to do besides look for jobs. But ever since I moved down to California I have dug myself into a deep debt and living on student loans, without a job has not helped.

About a month ago I was talking with my mom and she threw out the idea of moving home to Meridian for a little while. As soon as I hung up the phone with her I just knew that was it. I talked with Heather and found out my mom had told her that two weeks prior. The two of us discussed and prayed about it. Three weeks ago we mentioned it to Jenny and how it just felt like the right thing to do. She had been thinking the exact same thing; she had been thinking about moving back to Washington.

Our lease is up at the end of November and Heather and I will be hitting the road right before Thanksgiving. I am so incredibly ready for this. I feel like being home will be a HUGE breath of fresh air. I hope that while I’m there I can enjoy my family and friends and get a handle on my life. I really want to end up back in Seattle and I’m hoping that after 6 to 9 months at home and a couple more semester under my belt I’ll be ready to stand on my own two feet again.

Please be praying for Heather, Jenny and I as we step into this new chapter of our lives. We’re all ready for this, but I know we’re going to miss each other and our crazy, wonderful adventures down here.

Click to read Heather and Jenny's posts.