three years

I remember it like it was yesterday.

This is a blog I wrote three years ago on Monday, October 9, 2006.

grandpa is 94. his birthday is in december. december 15. he's tired. mom says he told grandma a couple weeks ago that he's not living anymore. just existing. last week mom said he wasn't doing good. but then he fell on friday. mom and dad drove down friday night and got there around midnight. i feel like i've been living phone call to phone call since friday night. waiting for an update, which usually is that there's no change. i was scared to call mom this morning. i knew if something had happened that she'd call. since i hadn't heard from her all morning i figured nothing had changed, but still....i was scared. so scared and worried that i made myself sick to my stomach all day. from what she told me he's been sleeping on the trundle bed in the living room. they've had hospice over. and lots of visitors. everyone's there. well almost everyone. mom said she sat in the recliner yesterday afternoon, which is right next to the bed. she'd talk to him and sing him hymns. he told her that his favorite is 'heaven is my home.' today was a hard day. friday night, saturday and sunday were hard too. but today was harder. it was hard to keep moving. to keep breathing. i want to be home so bad. it's so incredibly painful to be going through this away from everyone else. i don't know what else to say....

The following poem was on the bulletin for his funeral:

God saw you were getting tired

and a cure was not to be.

So He put His arms around you

and whispered, "Come with me."

In tears we watched you suffer

and saw you fade away,

Although we loved you dearly,

we could not make you stay.

A heart of gold stopped beating,

hard working hands now rest.

God broke our hearts to prove to us

He only takes the best.

It's lonesome here without you,

We miss you more each day.

Life doesn't seem the same,

Since you have gone away.

When days are sad and lonely

And everything goes wrong,

We seem to hear you whisper,

"Cheer up and carry on."

Each time we see your picture,

You seem to smile and say,

Don't cry I'm in God's hands,

We'll meet again someday!

December 15, 1911-October 10, 2006

I miss you Mr. Pop Boss.